Coffee
by shadowsinfire
Summary: Five drabbles based on what happens when Yachiru has a cup of coffee.


For Caitlin, because you love Hitsugaya, and because of your first encounter with coffee (I still think someone spiked it). Also because Yachiru is your alter ego, but we only figured that out after I wrote this.

I find it highly amusing that the prompt for October 1 on 31 Days was 'coffee and a kick in the pants.' When I wrote this I hadn't even heard of 31 Days (I know, I know).

Anyway, I finally got round to editing this. Here it is:

Coffee

1.

Recently Hitsugaya had started taking walks after he'd finished his paperwork. To give him something to do, he said; but really it was to stop him from tearing strips off his officers. His mood had been unreliable recently, and his sense of duty stopped him from taking it out on them.

Walking past the Eleventh division headquarters, a pink blur crashed into him, glomping him, knocking him over, them racing off. He sat up, rubbing his nose, to find the third seat of Eleventh running towards him.

'What was that?' Toshirou asks the bald man.

'Some dumbass gave her coffee.'

(100 words)

2.

Hitsugaya and Ikkaku found Yachiru passed out under a desk in Sixth division headquarters, along with a laughing Renji and a stunned looking Byakuya.

'She came in... ran around like crazy… and then passed out…' Renji stammered.

'Nothing funny about that, man! When Zaraki-Taichou finds out he's goin' to kill us!'

'Na, he'll just… kill the bastard that did this to her. What was it, anyway? Sugar high?'

'You ever seen her pass out from sugar? Someone gave her coffee. I've never seen this happen to anyone in my life!'

'You mean your death,' Hitsugaya muttered absentmindedly.

All four looked at the vice-captain, giggling quietly to herself in her sleep. Renji shuddered. 'If she's like this with coffee, I don't ever wanna see her drunk.'

(125 words)

3.

Somehow – he didn't know how – Hitsugaya got drafted into carrying Yachiru back to Eleventh. 'She can't stay here,' Byakuya had said, 'and Renji and I both have work to do.'

'We do?' Renji had asked.

'Yes, fuku-taichou.'

'Damn.'

So Hitsugaya and Ikkaku were the ones who had to carry the still-unconscious-vice-captain back.

They encountered Yumichika, who laughed his head off, and Matsumoto, who grinned and made some comment about damsels in distress before ruffling Hitsugaya's hair and wandering off.

Hitsugaya would have hit her, were it not for the fact that to do that would mean dropping Yachiru.

They stuck her on the ground in an empty room. Hitsugaya was about to leave when her hand shot out and grabbed his ankle.

'…shit…' he said.

(125 words)

4.

Twenty minutes later, Hitsugaya was still in Eleventh, trying to figure out how the hell Yachiru had managed to attach his shoes to a desk on the other side of the room while still nearly passed out.

Ikkaku refused to help, saying he'd never seen anything so funny ever, and that it was his own fault for not dodging fast enough, to which Hitsugaya replied that he'd never been grabbed by an unconscious person before and didn't know it was possible. Ikkaku grinned. 'With Yachiru-chan, nothing is impossible.'

'Wanna…glassa…water…'

'You okay Yachiru-chan?'

'…killer headache…'

'Alright, I'll get you some water. You stay here, Hitsugaya-taichou.'

'It's not like I've got a choice!'

'Huh?' Yachiru looked up blearily, and then collapsed laughing. Hitsugaya glowered.

'It was you who did this, fuku-taichou!'

'Well, I'm not undoing it.'

'Damn you.'

She shrugged. 'Tough.'

'Evil girl-child.'

'Yup!'

'Here's the water. Can you sit?'

Pause.

'No.'

(150 words)

5.

After ten minutes Yachiru was able to drag herself across the room and sit with the help of the desk. She grabbed the water and drank slowly, barely able to hold the glass.

She looked up, groaned, then kicked Ikkaku in the groin and knocked his feet out from under him in one movement. As he lay whimpering, she announced 'You're too damned tall, chrome-dome, and you were standing in the light. Now I can look at you without killing my brain.'

Hitsugaya moved away hurriedly.

'Don't worry, you aren't too tall,' Yachiru told him. For the first time, he was thankful he was short.

'What was in that coffee?' moaned Ikkaku. 'You used to chew on my head, but you've never done that before.'

'What do you mean, "what was in the coffee?" It was just coffee.' Yachiru frowned. 'I think.'

'You think?'

'Ask Scraggly Moustache-san. It was his coffee.'

'Scraggly – oh, I see.' Ikkaku opened the door. 'MAKIMAKI!'

A few moments later, the man Hitsugaya assumed was MakiMaki ran in.

'Yes, Madarame-san? Fuku-taichou?'

'Your coffee, MakiMaki!' Yachiru announced.

'Huh?'

'Why did you give fuku-taichou coffee?'

'I didn't give it to her! She ran in and asked if it was good! I said yes, and then she picked up my mug and drank the lot!'

'Right. Spread the word. No-one, and I mean no-one, is to give Yachiru-chan coffee. No-one.'

'Yes, sir!'

'Awww, why not? It was nice!'

Hitsugaya and Ikkaku shared a look. Even now, Yachiru was clueless.

(250 words)


End file.
